In short, if you’ve experienced unwanted sexual touching, of any kind, then you’ve likely experienced sexual assault. However, there are many situations that need to be taken into account when talking about rape and sexual assault.
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| Rape and Sexual Assault |
What the Law Says About Sexual Assault
Unwanted touching, of any kind, is unacceptable social behavior, but unwanted sexual touching is criminal.Federal law defines many different sexual crimes, from “forcible touching” and “sexual misconduct” to “aggravated sexual abuse” and “predatory sexual assault against a child,” but it’s important to know that state jurisdiction can vary.
Many sexual assault crimes are considered felonies and depending on the state, sexual assault may be called “sexual battery,” “criminal sexual penetration,” or “rape.” Rape is considered a type of sexual assault. Categories of sexual assault include rape, as well as the following:
- Attempted rape (in which rape was the motive)
- Fondling or unwanted sexual touching (which includes groping, kissing, etc.)
- Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts
- Unwanted sexual penetration (which could involve non-body parts or objects)
- Sodomy (anal or oral sex) without consent
- Sexual contact with minors, consensual or not
Other types of sexual assault that aren’t often talked about include female genital mutilation (removal of part or all of the female genitalia) and sexual assault between intimate partners or martial couples. Despite misconceptions, intimate partner rape (also called marital rape or spousal rape) does occur and it can be extremely detrimental to an individual’s mental health.
Because sexual assault is a non-consensual sexual act, it’s important to define “consent.” When engaging in sexual relations of any kind, consent deals with more than just “yes” or “no,” which is why sexual assault (including rape) can be so controversial.
“Mutual consent is key, yet the type of consent is critical,” explains clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD.
Any child under the age of thirteen cannot legally consent to having sex, even if they say “yes,” to a consenting adult. This is automatically considered “statutory rape” or “unlawful sexual intercourse.” When it comes to teen sexual assault, however, there are some unique factors to consider.
You are not obligated, under any situation, to have sexual relations with another person, even if that person is considered a sexual partner or spouse. However, sometimes individuals feel obligated, and this is one reason why the issues around sexual assault can be so complicated.
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| Rape and Sexual Assault |
Consider the following hypothetical situations:
A stranger touches an individual’s private area in public, but they have pants on.An individual is pressured by a manager to engage in sexual acts to maintain their position at the company.
A 14 year old and a 12 year old both consent to having sex. Though this seems innocent, the two consenting individuals are “minors” and cannot legally consent.
An intimate partner insists that you have sex or they won't let you leave the house, so you unwillingly agree. Threats in intimate partner relationships are extremely unhealthy and dangerous.
You agree to have sex with a partner as long as they use a condom, but they either remove it or damage it on purpose. This is called stealthing and it is unacceptable.
You consent to having sex with a partner one day but do not consent to having sex with that same partner the next day and they force you to anyway.
All of the above scenarios are examples of sexual assault. If you feel pressured, or feel you have no other choice but to consent, then your decision is likely being “forced," and saying "yes" becomes irrelevant.
Because many sexual acts occur in private between just two people, there aren’t usually witnesses who can attest to the consent or the situation in which consent was unable to be freely given, and that’s why sexual assault cases can sometimes be so challenging.
Here’s what all of us should keep in mind: if the situation feels uncomfortable, if an individual is not fully capable of consenting or is not consenting in a clear way, you should not continue with that sexual act regardless of hearing the word “yes” and if you’ve started to engage in a sexual act, but the individual changes their mind, then stop the act immediately.
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| Rape and Sexual Assault |
The Bottom Line
If the situation feels uncomfortable, if an individual is not fully capable of consenting or is not consenting in a clear way, you should not continue with that sexual act regardless of hearing the word “yes” and if you’ve started to engage in a sexual act, but the individual changes their mind, then stop the act immediately. |
| Rape and Sexual Assault |
How Alcohol and Drugs Play a Role
Casual sex is a large part of dating culture, as well as college culture, and the lines of consent can become blurry. When young adults experiment with drugs and alcohol, they often engage in risky behaviors which can quickly lead to sexual assault.Elizabeth L. Jeglic PhD, Professor of Psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, recommends “[not] engaging in [any] sexual activity when one or both parties are drinking or under the influence of substances. An individual cannot consent when they are drunk or high.”
How do you know if someone is under the influence and unable to consent? Signs of drunkenness or intoxication include, but are not limited to:
- Stumbling
- Slurring of words
- Bloodshot eyes
- Extreme emotions
- Confusion
- Drowsiness
- Incoherence
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